I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
