Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
