Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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