Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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