My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
