I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
