he thought i was a dude.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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