I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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