U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize