I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
