Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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