my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
