I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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