Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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