he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
