i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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