69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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