Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Randomize
