I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
