Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
