We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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