I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
