none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
