wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
