Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize