i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
