If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize