i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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