Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
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