do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
