True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
