seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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