maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
We got so high we made milksteak
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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