Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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