He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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