i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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