Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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