theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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