If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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