Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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