Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
