physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
