The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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