At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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