He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
