i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
