I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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