I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
