Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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