Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
