OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
