I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
