Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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