it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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