I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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