You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
