maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
