Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
