I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
